Cigar Smoking Faux Pas
A faux pas is an embarrassing or tactless act in a social situation. Now we believe in a live and let live philosophy when it comes to cigar smoking. If you paid for the cigar, cut it however you like, light it with whatever you have, and so long as you’re enjoying the cigar, puff-puff-puff to your heart’s content. But during these coronavirus times, we’re here to illustrate what not to do when you return to your favorite cigar shop.
1. Mr. Touchy Feely
He struts into the humidor with the finesse of a white rhino. Saunters over to the shelf and proceeds to touch, squeeze, and sniff every cigar that catches his fancy. Rather than inspect from a distance and only touch the cigar that he is going to purchase, Mr. Touchy Feely nuzzles up to every cigar in sight.
2. Lick ‘n Snip
This is absolutely gross and unacceptable anytime, coronavirus or not. He has the cigar in one hand and the cigar store’s community cutter in the other but just before cutting the cigar, he gives it the ol’ Turner & Hooch! If you’re too young to get the movie reference, Google it. Dear Lick ‘n Snipper, a properly humidified cigar does not need to be licked before cutting. But if you must, bring your own cutter. Sincerely, everyone.
3. Puff, Puff, Give
Sharing is caring, but not when it comes to the ‘rona! You’re smoking a particularly good cigar and you want your buddy to see for himself what he’s missing? Buy him one! Don’t give him a taste of your already slobbered on and smoked stogie. This faux pas has an obvious exemption; if your smoking buddy is also your wife, do what she says. Give her your cigar, credit card and dignity… just don’t give her your corona.
4. Space Invader
This guy doesn’t believe in personal space, much less social distancing. So while you’re enjoying your cigar at your favorite cigar lounge, along comes the Space Invader to get all the way up in your grill. You can ask him to give you room but Space Invaders are like a bad rash. If they had the sense to back off, they would not have invaded to begin with.
5. Dipsy-Doo, Dunk-a-roo
Named after the beloved college basketball announcer Dick Vitale, this maneuver is the “diaper dandy” of offensive behavior. You’re enjoying a cigar and fine spirit at your local cigar bar when out of nowhere one of your buddies dunks his cigar into your drink in an effort to improve the flavor of his cigar. If we hadn’t experienced this act of war firsthand, we wouldn’t believe it either.
Stay at Home
If you don’t feel well or are running a high temperature, don’t go to the cigar shop. Stay at home, get tested for COVID-19, and don’t come back to the cigar shop until a doctor clears you. And if you want some company while you smoke your cigar at home, listen to the Cigar Snob Podcast.
